30/09/2019 : Skype Session Module One Focus

A shorter post than normal for me but I wanted to share one particular afterthought that has kept coming into my mind since this session. I'm not sure why its remained so prominent compared to other thoughts I had throughout the session, but maybe thats OK...

...so here goes.

We were discussing the impacts of the evolution of the internet on creative practise and the increasing difficulty to separate your private and professional lives on Web 2.0. Generally, if you see your practise as an integral part of your being, you may not find this an issue...I know my practise is a natural part of my DNA and I can't say I ever really feel the need to have a separate personal and professional life. There are certain aspects that I find it useful to disengage with at certain times...perhaps the admin and more mundane tasks are things I try to avoid doing on holiday...but being open to creative encounters, responding to various contexts and needs are just part of how I operate.
However, 'filtering' the content available to others via Web 2.0 platforms such as Facebook or Instagram, can be needed sometimes. For example, you may not wish for a new high-profile potential sponsor of a community project you are organising to instantly be faced with millions of photos of a friends birthday party you have been tagged in online before they get to the photos of the dementia cafe you were involved in a few days ago! Even having separate profiles for your various work doesn't completely eliminate the risks of this happening through the results when your name is typed into a Google search. 

These artefacts (I think they could fall under this title?), form your CARBON FOOTPRINT. I remember being told that your carbon footprint begins before you are even born. You have little control over the shape of this, or steps it takes. It makes you vulnerable. There is very little you can do to control it, although there are perhaps ways to alter its impact and direction. 

Anyway, I'm going to stop there, having really only introduced the term. It feels good to have shared the term...in this instance thats all I wanted to do. I'm more interested in how others perceive the idea of a carbon footprint and am looking forward to digging deeper into this concept with my research over the next few days. 

Hope this made some sense or proved to be of some significance for someone reading! 
Amy x

27/09/2019 Skype Session Reflection (Module Two/ Mapping)

The session on Friday may have seemed similar to other Skype conversations that have so far taken place this year...that is in structure over content. However, with just three students and Adesola, I found it a very different experience to the previous calls. I was running slightly late and joined in my usual flustered and anxious state, then automatically realised that less participants meant more participation on each of our parts would be needed throughout the call. Usually this would have filled me with such dread that I would have automatically begun to dig an escape route 'just in case'. Having not had the time to properly settle for the session beforehand, I found that these thoughts didn't even enter my mind and I had to literally just throw myself in at the deep end. 

It was brilliant.

This level of interactivity was made so natural and comfortable by those on the call and I found it surprisingly easily to join in. Even more unusually, I wanted to! My mind was instantly engaged in the topics we were discussing and I learnt so much more in depth information about others on the course (in terms of their work and professional enquiries) as well as the various perspectives of 'mapping' as a process. The atmosphere was open and it was easy to ask questions and begin to 'dig deeper' into the topics we were discussing. Despite not being on Module Two at present, the content was relevant and useful across the modules and beyond the contexts this course. 

I could have continued this call all night and can only thank the others for making it such an enjoyable and valuable experience. I wanted to mention all of the above as I am sure there are other who will experience similar feelings of anxiety about participating in Skype calls, especially if its not a method of communication they are used to using. Hopefully a little comfort and courage can be gained through sharing my experience with you. 

Following the session I sat to blog about the notion of 'mapping'. I found that noting my response formed a strange sort of prose and didn't at all produce anything like I had intended. I wanted to share my notes from the session and review the content in the 'usual' blog style but instead the below text emerged. I wan't going to share it initially but feel like it's much more of an accurate reflection of the term 'mapping' that I discovered during the hour than I could ever reproduce in any other textual/visual format for the blog. It might not make much sense but maybe thats ok...so....here goes...

A map can only ever be a guide 

It cannot dictate

It is a tool but not a solution 

Perhaps useful 

Maybe a distraction

Is this a good thing?

For what is not on the map is still to be encountered

Blanket and dummy replaced by map and compass 

These are what some explorers needs to keep moving

Time off grid is daunting

What is they get lost?

Excitement and adrenaline may creep in

Possibilities arise there is potential

An alternative reality

Different perspectives skew the truth of the map

A natural occurrence 

A human influence

A detour

Alternatives

Creativity

Not solutions

Observations

To keep exploring 

To continue encountering

They must prevail.

...phewwwww.

On a much lighter note, I was discussing maps with my Mum over the weekend. Currently in her work with young children they are going through a 'pirate' phase. According to one of their stories (I'll let you decide if this is an appropriately reliable source!!!!) the pirates did not really have peg legs or hooked hands. They did not use maps. Interestingly, they did have telescopes though, which they used to stargaze. It was the sky and the constellations that replaced their maps...that lead to the treasure. 

I'd always wondered why they had telescopes. I naively wondered if they used these to view the lands ahead. I can't say it was a question that I agonised over much, but I did wonder why they used a telescope rather than binoculars!

So no maps...not paper ones anyway. Hope this made you smile. 

Enough of my babble for now. Sorry guys!

Amy x

26/09/2019: I'm assuming you're assuming you already know this...yeah?

I'm assuming you already know this...you already know what I'm about to write about. Pretty pointless me writing anything but something inside me still propels me to write it. Perhaps there is someone out there who might take a shred, however small, and in years to come find it and put it to use in another context. In that time, thousands more will write about the same subject but it was this particular blog post, this point in time, that acts as a subtle reminder for the individual and stirs something inside of their memory and becomes of significance in their future.

Eh?

Is that what you think?

Bored? Lost? Pointless reading the rest right?

Wait...your still reading...yet I assumed you already knew what I was going to say?

Still here? OK...might as well go on. A few moments spent writing what could be a pointless task is still better than a few moments spent staring at the rain pelting on the windows and catching a few seconds of extra sleep.


We all make assumptions in daily life, it's part of being human. Sometimes we do this subconciously. It makes us judge, assume a prior understanding of something we in fact have very little knowledge of. It could perhaps have resulted from past experience but a lack of reflective recognition and thus cognition of this, causing these assumptions. We assume we don't or do need to do something with very little thought into why our minds are telling us this.
  The reason this is something I am currently thinking about is down to part of the essay we are required to write in the Module One. It asks us to refer to three 'areas of learning' (AOL). Since reading this a few weeks back I've been struggling to understand what this actually means. An AOL to me referred to the way we analysed development. From my experience working in early years settings I was far too familiar with the long lists of statements child development was measured against, categorised into specific AOL's. As they entered formal education these became broader, perhaps now named as subjects; maths; literacy etc. Each area had a set of requirements and also a set of assumptions as such, dictated by the cultural context. For example, success in physical education may instantly make you think of a person as 'sporty' or 'athletic'. However, the tools needed to engage in this area extend far beyond these assumed capabilities. They assume that a person can engage, they can change into suitable clothing, which they have correctly remembered to bring on the correct day to participate in the activities. They assume that child A has won a race because they were faster, not because child B was suffering from a injury at the time of the race.
  In terms of our module, we are told to read and re-read the handbook throughout the course. I had being doing this....or so I thought. Yet no matter how many times I read the content, I was still struggling to pinpoint exactly what was meant by an AOL in this context. I assumed I was being stupid, that there was no more detail because this definition was just something we were meant to know.

Today I discovered the Glossary. Today I found my answer; a more specific definition I had been desperately searching for.

Andre Gide, Journals 1889-1949

It had been there all along. Yet I had incorrectly assumed it was no use; not something that 'counted' in our reading and re-reading of the course content. I had skimmed the terms then incorrectly assumed they were just about specifically definable items (a handbook, a tutorial, a tutor) and therefore would not contain the answer I sought in this instance. I hadn't even bothered to refer back to it since skimming these few terms which had formed my assumption of what the entire section contained.

Yet now I had my answer. It was there all along and the only person to blame for missing it was me. I could say I'd searched, I'd read the handbook, but really I hadn't...not properly anyway. Full engagement was something I had falsely assumed I was doing.

I now have a much clearer understand of what AOL means in terms of this module. I've also discovered a few other facts in the glossary I had neglected to notice beforehand.

My assumptions were holding me back from the encounters that needed to take place. They had restricted my practise and led to much wasted 'thinking time' which could have been used to for other reflections.

At the beginning of the post I assumed you knew all that. Maybe you did. I'm assuming you now know anyway. I'm assuming you're not just doing the whole 'read the first and last sentence' technique to judge an entire texts value to you at that moment. I'm assuming these few moments typing are a waste of time right? Yet still I did it, and feel better for doing so.

The lesson? What you don't know...I assumed you did?! DON'T MAKE ASSUMPTIONS!

Oh...and never assume you are not assuming.

Sorry if you already knew that. I hope some small part will stir up something in your mind though, assuming you read them. Sorry for the sarcasm too...I'm not entirely comfortable writing in this way but will post anyway :)

Hope the course is going well for everyone.
Amy x

23/09/2019 Better late than never...

So finally I am getting to write a post about the introductory Skype session held over a week ago. Usually I would be mortified at having left it so late but actually my delay reminded me of the saying 'better late than never'; something I believe rings true throughout many aspects of life. 

After being so concerned about my artistic practise being so different to those of the dancers and performers on this course, I am growing more and more aware of the similarities that are rooted in our practises. For example, when thinking about the saying above, one of the driving forces behind my work is the urge to DO SOMETHING. This could manifest in a number of ways but simply refers to the actions we perform in response to an experience. Whether that be painting, dancing, teaching or simply smiling at someone...the options are endless but all equally as valid. In terms of this course, I am therefore refocusing less on the WHAT and more on the WHY in terms of my work. Through this adjustment of my viewing angle I now feel much more in tune with other learners, and have realised that we share many more similarities despite the final physical action being different. 

The main tool that has helped me in making this discovery is the BLOGS that we all use to record our  journeys on this course. It may be that we never get to physically meet anyone else during our journey yet we are still using the same map at the same time and thus can use these online platforms as communication tools without the need to deviate from our unique pathways. They make take a little effort to keep updated but act as tracker, not just for our personal use but to allow others to remain aware of our progress. They are also a safety net, a way for others to identify when we are struggling, perhaps the silent periods speaking louder than the narratives we type. They comfort the many doubts we explorers may face through the realisation that there are others out there who are having similar experiences. They allows us to share tools for progression without the need to deviate from our own routes. The twists and turns may cause our paths to cross sometimes, through SKYPE sessions, or CAMPUS days. I'm particularly looking forward to these interludes and the change in scenery they will provide. 

Eurgh...shut up Amy...enough now! Sorry everyone, if you haven't realised yet I have a slight obsession with maps!

So maybe I haven't summarised the Skype session as originally intended, but I have shared some of the tools that it highlighted to me; mainly the blogs. So it was better to write a reflection than not, even if was late. It may not have resulted in what I had intended but that doesn't matter, it has at least resulted in something....something that has come far more naturally and I hope will be far more beneficial for others. The session was a starting point; a platform to leap off. It initiated an act, it provided a time and place to do something, to jump. As we leap into the unknown I look forward to our future sessions and the many other interludes that offer us a brief opportunity to pause in our journey, take a look at where we have come from and look ahead at the next stages on the adventure we now face. 

For now though I need stop typing...there are maps to study and many many more creative discoveries to be had! 

Amy x

10/09/2019 Past blogs and present benefits... 

I’ve been reading through a few of the other student blog posts this morning. I’ve never really been one for reading blogs but I’ve found that the ability to gain an insight into the personal experiences of others on the course…written when they were too in the initial stages, has been of great comfort. I can see now that they too shared anxieties that I now possess, but it’s as if I have the advantage of seeing their progression since and now appreciate how their journey throughout the course has gradually diminished these. 

Initially I was curious as to how others described their ‘Professional Practise’. I was intrigued by the high ratio of dancers that have studied the course before as well as the few who practised other creative pursuits. I wanted to understand how they wrote about their work, how they described what they did. Almost seeking a ‘title’ to define the creative activity to see if I could apply one to mine. I then suddenly had a moment where I realised that my work, being a vast diversity of multi-disciplinary projects and freelance work, could not be fully defined as a ‘thing’. However, it was the pursuit of these opportunities, these needs within contemporary culture, of ways to improve the wellbeing of others, that I could identify as my practise. Perhaps the outcome was not what was being sought, but the process was instead my practise. That was what I did. 

Perhaps that means the hours of scouring, of researching opportunities and identifying needs was my practise. The interactions not being encountered until a much later stage of the process. Is this what my creative practise is? Or am I just making excuses for myself, not being able to easily identify a role or career that simply answers the questions of relatives and friends of “Well, what do you do? What is you job?”. 

Who knows. Maybe it’ll become clear soon, maybe not. Maybe thats not the important aspect. I’m coming to realise that being uncertain is actually not as bad as it sounds, and generally in todays world, its everywhere. Sometimes thats OK. 

Amy

LINK FOR TODAY: https://www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=300&v=zoa2pKYp_fk

An overview of active learning, signifying the importance of creative activity to respond to and improve the experiences of the individuals and others. Although this specific video relates to those in the education sector, it is one of those principles that applies to every aspect of life as a whole and therefore can be a vital element of creative practise. 

09/09/2019  Dipping my toes in... 

I haven’t even finished my initial ‘scan’ of the Module Handbook and already my perspective of my own practice has completely changed. Actually…perhaps it has just been stripped back and is now bare and ready to be ‘redressed’. The uncertainty and insecurity of not having a set definition or way of describing my practise was a huge worry when I initially accepted my place on the course. I so desperately like things to be ordered and ‘neat’, this sense of being able to control or being in control so central to soothe my own insecurity.

 I remember my nervousness when I was interviewed for the first year of my studies. The course was titled ‘Fine Arts and Contemporary Culture’ yet I found myself admitting to the course leader that I could not draw or paint. Rather than respond with the typical ‘everyone can draw and paint’ response, the leader told me that they understood what I meant, that it didn’t matter and that the creative arts were so so much more than a set of grounded techniques and processes to create a desired outcome. Despite its title, I did not learn ‘fine art’ on the course in the traditional sense, yet I gained a much deeper appreciation for the importance of the creative process, in whatever form, to those who engage it it as well as culture. I realised that my eagerness and openness to a range of processes was far more important than my ability to perfect a certain technique. Rather than focus on one art form, I wanted to experience as many creative methods as possible so I could then use these as tools to engage with others and unlock their own creativity in ways beneficial to their specific needs. I felt like an empty TV, gradually tuning into new channels and becoming more and more able to show a range of content. There were restrictions to my capabilities and depth of knowledge but that doesn’t prevent the user from being able to view the basics and begin to form their own interpretations and reactions to it. 

  This first year of the degree gave me to space to be experimental, to challenge myself and begin to disseminate this beyond the boundaries of the studio. In fact, I began to think of my studio as much more than just a physical space. Much of my work was interdisciplinary and often quite diverse. Despite still lacking confidence in showing others any creations, I had gained so much more appreciation for the value of the process and had enjoyed the opportunities I had been given over the year without the pressure of having to be perfect, orderly or defined. This also enabled me to discover capabilities I never knew I possessed before, but which I could use to benefit others. These small discoveries all contributed to my confidence in calling myself an ‘artist’….and seeing everyone and everything else as an artist too! 

  Having to gain some sense of composure in year two meant another daunting start. This journey was quite different, and forced me to focus far more deeply on certain aspects of my practise. Despite this, I was able to remain open and realised it was OK to not have to BE everything in one go, and that one has the ability to zoom in on specific parts of a much wider picture without discarding it entirely. It was this that enabled me to discover which particular aspects I could use more in the practical sense…day-to-day. I began focusing more on participatory work within communities and used textiles and language as my main tools to engage others in the creative process. Whilst others may have been producing breathtaking paintings or sculptures, I had nothing similar to show for my creative time and presented a portfolio of interactions for my ‘final piece’. Although this was encouraged by my tutors and a perfectly acceptable ‘art form’ in their eyes, it still left me feeling inadequate compared to peers, as if I hadn’t put as much effort or thought into the work when in fact it had been the centre of my day-to-day life for as long as I could remember. Working with communities in both the voluntary and paid capacity is something I had always been engaged in, in many settings. Now I was more able to appreciate the potential of these opportunities and interactions and make them far more meaningful for others I encountered. 

  The thought of focusing on a ‘final piece’ or physical outcome that can be displayed in the context of an ‘exhibition’ or ‘degree show’ wasn’t something I felt would benefit my practise. The experience would be valuable, as every experience is, but I was eager that my learning journey during my degree studies be as fruitful as possible. I didn’t want to simply gain a piece of paper or ‘graduate’ and suddenly be thrust into a world I could not navigate or find my own place within. I wanted to remain open in my day-to-day life, to make new encounters and just BE. I now knew my practise was often a natural occurrence, the result of these unplanned encounters and could only really be defined on a project-project basis. Hence why this study route appealed to me. 

I have neglected to mention another, more personal, reason for wanting to re-enter distance learning. I really struggle socially, and often feel exhausted after being in the company of others. Thats not to say I don’t enjoy it, I do…I may do all I can to avoid certain situations that make me feel uncomfortable (yes, thats bad I know!) but I do find once I’m in the presence of others I really do enjoy my time with them. I love to help anyone and everyone who needs it, the majority of my face-to-face life being through creative work within the community. However, the safety of being a student shielded by a geographical ‘screen’ for the duration of the course does have a rather tempting appeal too. Yes…I know…guilty. 

  I might not be the most visible student, the most vocal or interactive, but that won’t mean I am not engaged and want to be just as much as part of our student cohort as I can be. The length of some of my posts will probably bore most others but it seems that blogging is one of my preferred methods to communicate much of what is going through my mind. I will try to keep them brief though. 

Anyway, back to the point. As far as defining my practice…well I guess I’ve failed already but now I know that that isn’t what the tutors are looking for. That practise can be uncertain and indefinable at times and this is OK. There is no right or wrong. I cannot articulate how much relief I felt when I realised that this course didn’t need me to be anything specific. I can continue to practise in the way that I do, which I’m slowly realising is just through being….through living life and being me…the challenge will be discovering myself. Practise, for me, is not hard work or even work at all, it is just life. An integral mode of being that blurs the boundaries between personal time and professional. Ethics are so integral to my overall being that the thought of exploring them more deeply through the next module greatly excites me. 

I must stop writing now…dribble dribble dribble. Sorry for the length. Congratulations if you made it this far! I look forward to reading about the work of others and am eager to discover the creative practises of fellow students and tutors on this course over the forthcoming year.

Amy 

TODAYS FAVOURITE POST LINK: https://noisejoy11.blogspot.com/2018/03/is-fun-allowed.html (I hope you don’t mind me sharing this link, but sometimes things are too good not to share and this was definitely something I resonated with today)